


If you ever change your mind (about leaving, leaving me behind)

by TitaniaSarys



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fix-It, I Don't Even Know, I hope I didn't forget anyone, I just had to, I'm not sorry though, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Spoilers, Starmora
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 20:23:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TitaniaSarys/pseuds/TitaniaSarys
Summary: “Peter.”For the second time in less than five minutes, Peter froze. The voice sounded so distant as if he was underwater and yet their owner couldn’t have been more than ten feet away because Peter heard it clearly despite the raucous around him. He thought he was dreaming or hallucinating because there was no way he could be hearinghervoice of all…“Oh, Peter,” she said and the way her voice justbrokesaying his name made the tears fall down his face so fast it should be illegal.





	If you ever change your mind (about leaving, leaving me behind)

**Author's Note:**

> Like pretty much everybody, IW broke me. I have like a dozen different theories on what happens next and on how to fix things, here's one take. I might explore other options later, who knows. But yeah, spoilers ahead so if you haven't seen IW yet, don't read. The film just broke me, although I expected like 80% of what happened. It still hurt. So here I am, trying to fix it.

Peter had no idea how much time had passed. He also didn’t really know what had happened. No. Actually he _knew_ what had happened, but he didn’t really understand _how_ it had happened. The whole thing with the stones was way too complicated for him to understand.

So when his body suddenly turned to dust after he watched Mantis and Drax disappear, he didn’t really understand how in the flarg could people _dissolve_ like that. All he knew in that moment was that Thanos had won, that he had managed to wipe out half the universe with a snap of his fingers, just like Gamora had said.

Gamora.

In that final moment, when the last thing he saw was Stark’s pained face, all he could think about was her. And a part of him was actually glad it was all over so quickly, because he would then be able to see her again, in whatever afterlife they would end up in.

But if he did go to some kind of afterlife, he had no recollection of it as he brutally found himself on the ground, face in the dirt. It took him a few seconds to register that he was still very much alive and that he wasn’t alone. Because the next instant, a very familiar trash panda stood in front of him (and Rocket would deny later that tears were streaming down his face).

“Quill…”

That was all Rocket said before he helped him up and hugged Peter’s leg, and before Mantis came rushing along with Drax and Groot. When Peter looked around, all he could see was an endless sea of grass, the kind he had once seen in a documentary about Africa back in the days when his mother was still alive.

“What…” he croaked and frowned at the sound of his own voice. His mouth felt like sand paper, as if he hadn’t used it in days.

“We found a way,” Rocket said as he detached himself from Peter’s leg and hastily wiped his tears away. “We managed to reverse the stones. We won.”

He then pointed at something big a few feet away from them, something lying on the ground, unmoving. People were slowly getting up around them, some Peter had never met before and who looked as lost as he was, and some that he recognized like that strange wizard with a cape or the spider kid who didn’t like Footloose.

As if drawn by some kind of magnet or spell, they all approached the unmoving thing in the center of the field, the sunlight burning at the top of their skulls in radiant waves that would have felt heavenly on a summer day. But right now, all Peter could focus on was the body on the ground, a body he hoped he would never have to look at.

And then he froze.

He suddenly felt as if he couldn’t move, as if the still and broken face of the corpse had somehow put a spell on him. He was half expecting it to suddenly move and to laugh at how pathetically Peter had lost. But Thanos remained still, his body unmoving and dead, the gauntlet and stones nowhere to be seen. People only now seemed to realize how tall the Titan actually was and even in death he remained frightening. The others were cheering above the corpse and if that wasn’t macabre, Peter didn’t know what was. But he was also one of the few people who actually had personal history with the Titan, being his somewhat-kind-of-son-in-law. And if he wasn’t too shocked, he’d probably be the first one to jump and dance.

It’s only then that Rocket’s words arrived to his brain. _We won_.

Peter looked around him and saw people cheering, laughing and hugging each other. Some were crying, others were screaming in delight but everyone seemed to rejoice. And yet, Peter couldn’t help but feel the void inside his chest deepen at every laughter he heard, at every smile he saw. They were all hypocrites who were only happy because they hadn’t lost everythi…

“Peter.”

For the second time in less than five minutes, Peter froze. The voice sounded so distant as if he was underwater and yet their owner couldn’t have been more than ten feet away because Peter heard it clearly despite the raucous around him. He thought he was dreaming or hallucinating because there was no way he could be hearing _her_ voice of all…

“Oh, Peter,” she said and the way her voice just _broke_ saying his name made the tears fall down his face so fast it should be illegal.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally turned to look at her. The sun was shining on her face, illuminating her every silvery scar, her skin looking a vibrant shade of green, so beautiful that it took his breath away. She looked so much like the last time he saw her that he wondered for a moment if he still wasn’t hallucinating, that if his brain hadn’t finally given up because of grief.

But she smiled at him. She _fucking smiled_ at him her beautiful and most sincere smile and he cried even harder.

He wasn’t happy because they won.

He wasn’t happy because they beat Thanos.

He wasn’t happy because everyone seemed to be back.

He wasn’t happy because his friends surrounded him.

He wasn’t happy because it was a beautiful sunny day.

He wasn’t happy because they had saved the galaxy, again.

He wasn’t happy because he could see her again.

He should be happy for all of those reasons, but he was only happy because the woman of his life was alive, was well and because she was all he ever needed. Because if she had been gone for good, he wouldn’t have recovered. Her death would have been the end of him. All of the others surrounding them had reasons to fight even after, they had goals and ambitions that they could pursue despite the loss, despite the fall. But Peter, he loved Gamora so much, the world died with her that day because she was _his_ world.

He didn’t think he would ever find someone like this. Not after his mom’s passing, after his life as a Ravageur, after Yondu’s death, after Ego, after everything he had been through and because of the way he had been raised. But Gamora was his world, she was his star, she was his home. And she was the only thing he couldn’t survive without.

He wanted to tell her all those things, to let her know how hard it had been to promise her to kill her, to watch her being taken by Thanos, to hear of her death. He had died with her that day and he’d never been more broken and lost in his entire life.

So he opened his mouth, but nothing came. Instead, he took a step forward as she opened her arms. She was crying too, he realized, as he took another step. A blonde woman on his left hugged a bearded man with a shield, but Peter had only eyes for Gamora. He didn’t see Rocket roll his eyes and he certainly didn’t hear him say “those hummies…”. He didn’t see a black woman in red warrior clothing bow in front of a black man who immediately told her to get up and hugged her. He didn’t see Tony shake the hand of Strange, nor did he see the spider kid highfive Groot, as if they somehow managed to understand each other. He didn’t see Drax softly and wisely smile at their whole bunch despite the fact that he had been denied his afterlife with his wife and daughter. He didn’t see two guys in metallic suits get out of them and hug another one who had wings on his back. He didn’t see Nebula looking at Thanos as if she couldn’t believe it was actually over, just like he didn’t see a blonde woman dressed like a superhero. He didn’t see a young woman with auburn hair discussing something visibly important with a small woman who looked like a scientist with her blouse and with shiny and unknown tec around her wrists. He didn’t see the guy with a bow giving a pat on the back to another one in a red suit who was holding the hand of a woman wearing a similar suit but dark. He didn’t see Thor hugging a guy with a metal arm, just like he didn’t see Kraglin standing a little farther, acting as if he had planned it all and didn’t just arrive a few seconds ago. He didn’t see all the warriors of the unknown country they were in hugging each other and cheering in a language he didn’t understand.

He could only see the radiant green, the beautiful smile, the glistening cheeks and inviting lips, the perfect face and the welcoming arms, his heart, his world, his home.

Gamora met him halfway across the field and wrapped her arms tightly around him while he grabbed at her back, at her hair, at her shoulders. He needed to feel she was real, to know he wasn’t just hallucinating. She pressed her forehead against his own and her tears fell on his jacket, so raw and honest that he cried even more.

“I love you. I love you. I love you,” was all she said like a mantra after she buried her face in the crook of his neck and held him so tight as if to promise she would never let him go. She felt so real under his palms, her smell was exactly like that day she was gone, her hair was still so soft. Her breathing was erratic and way too fast for his liking because of her emotions that were all over the place, but it was _there_ , she was real, she was back, she was home.

“I love you so much,” he finally managed to say and cried in her hair. They held each other and cried for a long time, like the two space dorks that they were, that they had grown to be, that they would keep on being. Because now that he could breathe, the possibilities were _endless_.

He didn’t tell her how he had felt when he saw her disappear, because when she finally looked at him through her wet lashed, he knew she just knew. Because he saw the exact same need, the exact same pain, the exact same crushing relief in her eyes. He didn’t ask her how it was possible since they hadn’t died the same way (Tony would tell him later, once everyone was settled down, once Shuri was working on bringing Vision back with Wanda, once Thor had mourned but accepted his brother’s definitive demise, how reversing the stones meant the effects of _all_ the stones, even the soul stone).

He simply held her and cried and finally after long moments, he laughed with her, until he couldn’t stand it anymore and kissed her. As if there was no tomorrow, as if he couldn’t live without her touch and she responded in kind. He didn’t care that they still clung to each other long after everyone had calmed down, that people awed and whistled at them, that they were making a scene.

Only long after everyone had left, after Thanos’ body was taken, after the sun had finally started to descend in the bright blue sky did they let go of each other for a fraction of second, letting go of their shoulders to intertwine their fingers. Slowly, they made their way towards the palace where they had seen everyone else go, to feast with their friends, new and old, to celebrate the victory of the universe, to celebrate life.

And as they walked through the fields of grass, hand in hand like it should be, smiling like the happy morons they were, Peter couldn’t wait to explore those new possibilities with Gamora by his side.

They were okay.

He could finally breathe.


End file.
